sad and fat, CHEZ NATE!

i'm in st louis at nate's place. he just went to bed (he has work tomorrow) and i thought i should probably dick around on the internet for a while before i go to bed too. i'm actually not having HELLA FEELINGS at the moment, just some mild-to-moderate happiness from a weekend of eating pizza/sushi/pub food and watching 30rock/venture brothers/forgetting sarah marshall with nate. we went to nate's boss' wedding at the st louis zoo (sadly there were no creatures to be seen in the reception tent, unless you count me after several trips to the open bar). its been a great visit so far and i still have almost two more days, though nate will be at work a good amount of that time. still, thats enough time for plenty more shenanigans.

as much fun as i've been having, i've also been just the tiniest bit something this whole time. its not sad, but something like it. maybe its that i don't want to leave and go back to the horrible long distance relationship crap. maybe its that st louis is horrible and inherently a little depressing. maybe its that i feel like crap because i gained enough weight that i'm constantly short of breath (i wanted my tits to look SPECTACULAR at the wedding, and they did). 125 lbs is not a good weight for me, i'd like to lose about 10 lbs, blah blah blah i am SAD AND FAT.

honestly i know i am neither sad nor fat, i'm just off of my baseline. normally i am so happy around nate that i miraculously forget how shitty it will be when we have to go back to living our lives thousands of miles apart. and normally i'm small enough to be mistaken for a child. i'm wavering a little bit on both those fronts, but thats hardly worth writing an entry in HELLA FEELINGS. i guess i'm just keeping myself busy before i fall asleep.

in other news, it was my mom's 60th birthday today. i helped my dad choose (meaning, i chose) this gorgeous sapphire bracelet, which she thinks is totally beautiful but is returning for some reason. my dad is giving her matching earrings for their wedding anniversary (26 years?) on halloween and i have no idea whether or not she'll return those too. they're so pretty. whatever. she doesn't really wear much jewelry anyway.

god this was a boring post. i am TERRIBLE at this blog shit.